inspired by my hate for the world i come to you in earnest about the many things in my life that i wish were done........

(I also give praise to the things that have been done)



1) i wish that i was far away from here. receiving a thousand hugs from the ppl i love the most (you know who you are)
i wish to be held down with such an uncontrolable passion. sinking into the ground by a force that i neither love or hate.

a small embrace is all i ask to take, for it shall offer me comfort in the darkness of slumber. i am left suspended in the place of confusion. where only fools cry......




2) i wish to spill the seed of love and finally be......

WHO I AM, REALLY AM!!!!!!

my good and noble people, the mind is a powerful thing. and the things of the matter are no match against ones of a true heart. yet, they are equal and opposite forces, like death and life....

3) i wish to be surround by love forever......to look forward to passion that fools may not feel. and yet the wisest man may not feel everything there is to feel. but that which he does feel, he is not ignorant to know what the feeling is.

and one who is human or angel, demon or beast, does feel in their own degree....

4) (but not the last my any means)

ALL I WISH FOR is to talk of things that are of the heart. fond things



Tortured nightmares hold me tight in the night, when all feeling is gone. slipping into a land of honey coated pills which fill my mind with voices that sing beyond the deep. while i weep......

inspired by my hate for the world i come to you in earnest about the many things in my life that i wish were done........

(I also give praise to the things that have been done)

1) i am glad to say that our play "us and them" its over. although i am only pleased in the sense that we have been given our marks for preformance. i wish we could do it all again

2) i wish that i was far away from here. receiving a thousand hugs from the ppl i love the most (you know who you are)
i wish to be held down with such an uncontrolable passion. sinking into the ground by a force that i neither love or hate.

a small embrace is all i ask to take, for it shall offer me comfort in the darkness of slumber. i am left suspended in the place of confusion. where only fools cry......




3) i wish that my final A level exams were over so i could be free at last to break from the holds that school has on a person. i wish to spill the seed of love and finally be......

WHO I AM, REALLY AM!!!!!!

my good and noble people, the mind is a powerful thing. and the things of the matter are no match against ones of a true heart. yet, they are equal and opposite forces, like death and life....

4) i wish to be surround by love forever......to look forward to passion that fools may not feel. and yet the wisest man may not feel everything there is to feel. but that which he does feel, he is not ignorant to know what the feeling is.

and one who is human or angel, demon or beast, does feel in their own degree....

5) (but not the last my any means)

ALL I WISH FOR is to talk of things that are of the heart. fond things



those of you who are the nearest, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

so finally!!! we have a name for the play. it started off as....

WHATS IN A NAME? (and i thought that was good) then it was

SEX, DRUGS AND RUGAR'S BALLS (and that was more than gay) so thank God it has changed to something simple like

US AND THEM.....and halleulia is not "dont judge a book by judge a book by its cover" now that was just taking the piss!!!!

anyways i am quite happy about how the play has come on now. but i still do think we need more of a edge. something to make it stand out. at least the costumes for the goths are mad!! i wish all of you could come and see it, cos you dont know what its all about.

we preformed it infront of other schools last week and that went ok. but now we have to do it infront of all our classmates and the damn "godquad" but i dont care i love to act.

2mo we are going to take a photo for the poster of our play. that will be fun!!!

anway gotta go!!!

well just 5 days until our play "whats in a name! and we are still writting up the script........

i just thoughti should put in a new journal entry cos as i imagined not many ppl noticed the last one.

im trying to get inspiration what to write. im listenning to cold play. do you like them? their depressing music makes me feel all warm inside

i really just hope this play comes together and we dont look like fools infront or the other schools doing their plays. im just hoping that the luck of methody drama shines through. no really i just have to get my head around my character. and not try and mould it into the character i want to portray. i was trying to make the play too like romeo and juliet. my teacher said there aint no such thing as a love that comes so quick but I KNOW that is not true!!!

those of you who are the nearest, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

hey what is even the point of even writting in this da journal all the time? when no1 is really going going to read it anyway. i may as well just say ANYTHING!!!

oh my at present im killing a pigeon while kissing my mother!!! hello?? does anyone care. yup doesnt matter what i say cos at the end of the day there will be no comments to follow!!!

so ok im listtening to the WILD ROSE and thinking of jumping of a small cliff with no hat on!!!

i think im just not going to talk to anyone anymore. msn is reallly pissing me off. and 2mo my mind will be changed. i really want something that im not sick of. oh summer holidays i wish you would come back. PLEASE!!! am i just too demanding???

i wish i could fast forward to the time when i will be acting as juliet. with that knife in my hand as i kiss my romeo and then die letting scarlet blood fall......

i wish to go to the secret river and consume the roses then kill a small bird. is there really any help for the insane? and can we all live in harmony??

its true that life is just a stage and we are all meerly players. ITS TIME to start living a dream. dont let people get too close. yes im sure this is making me feel so much better. deep down i should make an effort and actually do something for once. OH OH is sex and the city on 2nite. i will watch that as i do every wednesday nite and think of you!! what i say does it mean much???

ITS TRUE that people like us know how to survive. and if we cant have it all then no body will. hold me for ever and dont let go.

LET ME SEE THE LIGHT!!!

let people leave me alone for a change. ill will pomise mary lee that i wll keep all this in. DONT SCARE ME!!! i think i want to run then hide then love you even more. let the music play damn it!!! me amori dont uno my love i want you so.

do you even no what i have been doing for the past 2mins??
its called free association. we we just write write was is in our head without stopping. this is meant to make us feel better. now i want to have a long bath and read wuthering heights til my blood runs cold. what if we could see in2 the future. i love it so much when i dift away to my own land. when reality becomes misty and clear.

dont you hear me CALLING CALLING!!!

why did i even bother to write this all?? the end is near!!! a glooming peace this morning with it brings
The sun for sorrow will not show his head
Go hence to have more talk of these sad things
Some shall be pardoned and some punished
For never was there a story of much more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo

dont you love me baby???

All that glitters is not gold
Often have you heard that told
Many a man his life hath sold
But my insides to behold
Glided tombs do worms unfold
Had you been as wise as bold
Young in limbs in judgement old
Your answer hath not been inscrolled
Fair you well your suit is cold
Cold indeed and labour lost
Then farewell heat and welcome frost
Portia a due I have to grieved a heart
To take a tedious leave thus losers part

Your face my thane is as a book (and i love thee)

thankyou thankyou I LOVE YOU ALL GOOD NIGHT!!!